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Seventeen

April 14, 2021/ Abigail E. Calimaran

[poetry]

I’m 17, and I am always in love.
The summer I turned fifteen,
a boy and his glinting, green eyes
ran through the sprinkler at work
and pulled me in with him.
We were kicked out of the building.
We made too many puddles.
On a patch of concrete out front,
with the sun shining in our eyes,
we turned our faces toward each other.
Confession: I thought he was going to kiss me.

I‘m 17, and I am always in love.
I drop my best friend off at the airport
for a 5 a.m. flight to five-thousand miles away.
Behind the dark clouds of a brewing storm,
the sun weakly rises, and I drive home alone.
It rains when I’m in the drive-through line
for a cup of coffee that only
goes to show how cold I am
without her. It turns out, I loved her all along.
I park in an empty parking lot to cry.

I’m 17, and I am always in love.
Las Vegas, ten o’clock, a social function
my parents dragged me into, until
my knight in shining armor appears.
He says, get in, let’s drive,
and he takes me to the suburbs.
I close my eyes at his command,
and when he tells me to open them,
I see the city shining below me.
He tells me that I have had the most
earnest, genuine reaction of
any girl he’s taken here before.
It makes me feel special
(in the worst kind of way).

I’m 17, and I am always in love.
I’m in a coffee shop trading sips of cappuccino
with a boy who smiles coyly over
the rim of his computer.
I help him with a math problem,
and his lips ghost against my ear,
close enough to feel, yet
far enough to believe it’s all a dream.
He buys me another coffee—
the quickest way to an academic’s heart.

I’m 17, and I am always in love.
I’ve had the same boyfriend for three years
(minus that one time at the dawn of spring
when I told him I didn’t know how to love).
He picked me up in October and told me,
I don’t need love. I just need you.
I wish I knew how to tell him
I love you.
I have always loved you.

I’m 17, and I am always in love,
but never with myself.
I eat lunch on a Saturday alone.
I spend fifty dollars on books.
I knit an ugly, mustard-colored scarf.
Let me be honest for a second
(with you, and with myself).
This is who I am.
I’m trying, I’m learning,
I’m loving. Just like I always do.

Abigail E. Calimaran is a full-time high school senior and part-time pre-K gymnastics teacher who also crochets while listening to Jane Austen audiobooks, consumes massive doses of caffeine, and dances alone to ABBA in her room. Her work has appeared in The WEIGHT and Overachiever Magazine.

School Lunch Archive

  • 2021
  • 2020
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Friday Lunch Blog

Friday Lunch! A serving of contemporary essays published every Friday.

Today’s course:

Diagnosed at Sixty – My ADHD Journey

April 22, 2022/in Blog / Kait Leonard
Read more
https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/pexels-tara-winstead-8378728-scaled.jpg 1707 2560 Kait Leonard https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Kait Leonard2022-04-22 17:37:172022-04-22 22:35:30Diagnosed at Sixty – My ADHD Journey

Why Video Game Preservation Matters

April 15, 2022/in Blog / Nicholas Galvez
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/yhvdvrkpjob1dvtswdfi5fy195xhoy9hbfrsydeeqbb5gcpbchqlljpxybfr_408748_uj7j.jpg 800 1600 Nicholas Galvez https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Nicholas Galvez2022-04-15 11:36:442022-05-09 15:25:34Why Video Game Preservation Matters

Sarees in America

April 1, 2022/in Blog / Majella Pinto
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/DSC00012.jpg 1536 2048 Majella Pinto https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Majella Pinto2022-04-01 13:03:542022-04-11 13:43:18Sarees in America

More Friday Lunch Blog »

Midnight Snack

A destination for all your late night obsessions.

Tonight’s bites:

QVC-land

May 6, 2022/in Midnight Snack / D. E. Hardy
Read more
https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Diana-Hardy_QVC_Feature_Photo.png 533 800 D. E. Hardy https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png D. E. Hardy2022-05-06 23:45:322022-05-06 19:25:59QVC-land

Escape Artists at the End of the World

April 29, 2022/in Midnight Snack / Lisa Levy
Read more
https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/waldemar-brandt-eIOPDU3Fkwk-unsplash-scaled.jpg 1707 2560 Lisa Levy https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Lisa Levy2022-04-29 23:49:582022-04-29 20:27:32Escape Artists at the End of the World

The House in the Middle

April 15, 2022/in Midnight Snack / Megan Vasquez
Read more
https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/alec-douglas-iuC9fvq63J8-unsplash-scaled.jpg 2560 1707 Megan Vasquez https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Megan Vasquez2022-04-15 23:45:322022-04-15 08:32:48The House in the Middle

More coming soon!

Amuse-Bouche

Little bites every Monday to whet your appetite!

Today’s plate:

Which Half

May 18, 2022/in Amuse-Bouche, Poetry / Claire Scott
Read more
https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/anthony-tran-vXymirxr5ac-unsplash-scaled.jpg 1707 2560 Claire Scott https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Claire Scott2022-05-18 16:04:092022-05-18 16:04:09Which Half

Antigone in NYC

May 2, 2022/in Amuse-Bouche, Poetry / Ann Pedone
Read more
https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/nathalie-stimpfl-EDKWnb-kZV4-unsplash-scaled.jpg 2560 1707 Ann Pedone https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Ann Pedone2022-05-02 11:53:542022-05-02 08:54:07Antigone in NYC

Slackers Rule

April 26, 2022/in Amuse-Bouche / Karen Regen-Tuero
Read more
https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/erik-hansman-PL5VrlAISt4-unsplash-scaled.jpg 1706 2560 Karen Regen-Tuero https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Karen Regen-Tuero2022-04-26 16:08:292022-04-26 16:08:29Slackers Rule

More Amuse-Bouche »

Word From the Editor

Here at Lunch Ticket, 2021 represents ten years of our literary journal. 2021 marks the start of a new decade, one I can only hope will stand as tall and iconic in the history of our publication as the jazz age in America. What we’ve put together this fall is what I call and will fondly remember as our “Roaring 20th Issue”.

More from the current editor »
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