Lyrics Reconstructed: A Grief Mixtape
I. August evenings
Bring solemn warnings
To remember to kiss the ones you love goodnight
II. Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts
I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be all right
I never grow up, it’s getting so old
You hold my hand on the street
Help me hold onto you
III. You go away
I didn’t hear you leave
I wonder, how am I still here
X marks the spot
Where we fell apart
And I don’t want to move a thing
It might change my memory
IV. Swaying as the room burned down
I’m perfectly fine, I live on my own
I made up my mind, I’m better off being alone
V. Dance with my dogs in the nighttime
Never you mind
VI. Never forget you
Never you care
Wish I could say something
VII. Can’t help but wonder if this
Is the last time that I’ll see your face
VIII. Tucked away, under a garden
I lost sight of your grace
Chasing my fate, chasing my fate
And on a fictional moon
I left you, too soon
And we’re never gonna go back again,
Video Child
IX.Can’t we just talk?
I think about it everyday
But it’s a little late to say
You feel like summertime
Keep your head to the sky
Now I’m in the dark
Shine a little light on me
Reach out
X. I want something else
To get me through this
I’m not listening when you say
Good-bye
XI. Feels like you’re miles from here, in other towns with lesser names
I’m scared
Images scar my mind
Four weeks felt like years
things are gonna change
Oh, they’re gonna change
XII. I’m a fraction of who I once believed
Dismantle me down
Repair
I want to break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
Don’t try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow
Don’t believe anything you say anymore
In the mourn, in the morning
With downcast eyes
There’s more to living than being alive
XIII. Is anybody out there?
hello, Alone
Where does one start
To pick up pieces of a gasoline heart?
Listening for voices
But it’s the choices that make us who we are
This is the correlation of salvation and love
XIV. Godspeed to all you’re after
Is this a life left just to remember?
Tell them who you were, who you really were
Was this over before
Before it ever began
This is our last goodbye
XV. Do they not have pen or paper where you are?
I relive each memory
From time to time
Tell me everything turned out all right
I thought you said you’d be home by now
I heard you say that you’d come back here
So I wrote to remind you somehow
XVI. Will daybreak ever come?
Who’s gonna call on Sunday mornings?
Who’s going to drive you home?
I just want one more chance
To put my arms in fragile hands
I thought you said forever, over and over
But dreams are so intoxicating
Innocence gone
XVII. I won’t ever be your cornerstone.
I fall to pieces now
A broken mirror
In your life
The silence in black and white
XVIII. That was the last time you ever saw me
XIX. Oh I am what I am
This is how the world works
I can feel the flames on my skin
hand prints on my soul
I want to change my mind
I want to raise your spirits
I want to see you smile
Oh, you’re never gonna get hurt again
XX. This won’t go back to normal, if it ever was
XXI. I’m outside of your window with my radio
You are the only station
You play the song I know
I speak to you like the chorus to the verse
You are the song I know
Regan Humphrey is an award-winning writer and artist. She is an MFA Candidate in YA Fiction & Playwriting at Antioch University. She holds a BA in Creative Arts, Writing & Performance, a BA in Cross-Cultural Relations, and an MA in Applied Psychology. Her work has been published online by Poems by New Yorkers, Antioch’s Social Justice Newsletter, and Lunch Ticket Magazine, and in print by Gilded Dragonfly Books and Bard College at Simon’s Rock.