Cat Wedding

When it was summertime and there was no school, Edmar’s cousin, Roanna, and her cat came from the Philippines to visit like they always did but, this time, to get married to his neighbor. Edmar, however, found this strange, as his cousin loved cats and his neighbor, Jeff, did not. “So what,” his father said at breakfast, swallowing his blood pressure medicine with his coffee, “You don’t have to love anything to get married.” Edmar’s mother frowned at his father and said, “Well at least she’ll be able to stay here and not have to keep coming and going, wouldn’t you like that?” But all Edmar could think of was her cat, Capilla, and how much his cousin loved her, and when they arrived he asked her what she thought.

“Well, Capilla is going back home after this,” Roanna said, scratching Capilla’s chin. Capilla was a black cat and, when her eyes were open, one was blue and one was green.

“Why?”

“I’m getting married. Capilla would feel like a third wheel, you know.”

“She can stay with us,” Edmar said, rubbing Capilla’s paw. Her claws stretched out and retracted as she melted further into Roanna’s lap.

“I’m afraid, even if your parents would allow you to take her, it still wouldn’t be possible.”

“Why not?”

“She needs a green card.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s what you need to stay in this country if you weren’t born here.”

“And how do you get that?”

“You can get one from working or getting married.”

“That leaves just one option then,” Edmar said, already knowing that cats didn’t work.

“I know. But how are you going to find someone for Capilla to marry so quickly? It took at least a year to get Jeff to agree.”

“There are a lot of people with cats I know. What kind of cats do you like, Capilla?”

Capilla meowed and did not open her eyes.

“I don’t think it matters, as long as they’ll marry her.”

“Then it’ll be easy.”

“It’s not that easy. You need money.”

“Money for what?”

“To pay them to marry Capilla, not to mention the marriage itself. Weddings are expensive.”

“How much is a wedding?”

“Pretty expensive, but, since they’re cats, I assume a fraction of the cost.”

“What’s a fraction?” Edmar asked. He had only started Algebra last year and barely passed.

“Not enough for a little boy to have on his own, I’m afraid.”

When Edmar told his father his plan, he laughed at him and told him to ask the Paniquinian Association for their help. They had money to help people with this kind of problem, he said, before he laughed again and closed the door to the bathroom and flushed. The Paniquinian Association was the Filipino organization his parents were a part of that supported people from the same town they were from, Paniqui. Roanna and Capilla were from their town. Surely, the money was meant to help them too. Edmar got the number of the association president from his mother and called.

When Edmar told his father his plan, he laughed at him and told him to ask the Paniquinian Association for their help. They had money to help people with this kind of problem, he said, before he laughed again and closed the door to the bathroom and flushed.

“Hi, Mr. President,” Edmar said, “I need money to help someone get married.”

“Little boy,” The president said, “you know we’re having financial difficulties. We can’t just give money to whoever calls us.”

“But I thought the association helped people from their town. Capilla is from your town,  and she needs your help.”

“We do have some money, but we can’t just give it, kasi we cannot fund something like a marriage and all the things that come with it.”

“Well, it doesn’t cost that much. My cousin said it’ll only cost a fraction.”

“A fraction? Your cousin is getting married? Can you put her on the line?”

Edmar found his cousin and gave her the phone.

“Who is this?” Roanna asked, Capilla still in her lap.

“The president,” Edmar said, “He wants to pay for Capilla’s wedding.”

“Mr. President?” Roanna said, and after some silence she spoke again, “Yes, I’m getting married, but my cousin is calling for someone else.” Roanna picked herself, the cat, and the phone up and went to the guest room and closed the door. When Roanna returned, Capilla was no longer in her arms. She handed Edmar the phone.

“Hello, Mr. President.”

“Edmar. Hello. I think I understand what’s going on now.”

“So, will you pay?”

“Listen, this kind of thing can’t go on the books. So how about a hundred dollars from my own pocket, and I refer you to a priest who can conduct the service?”

“Is a hundred a fraction?”

“It’s all that I got.”

“And how much does the priest cost?”

“Father Santos Santos Ramos will do it for twenty dollars, and he’s free tomorrow morning at the Burger King if you want to meet him. I’ll be there tomorrow too to give you the money.”

Edmar counted the remainder with his fingers. “And will eighty be enough for everything else?”

“I don’t know. But that’s the best I can do on short notice. You want it or not?”

Edmar accepted the offer and gave Roanna back the phone to schedule their meeting tomorrow, because she was the only one who could drive. This was the best deal they were going to get, Roanna said and kissed Edmar on the head. “Thank you. We’ll bring Capilla tomorrow.”

“What is she doing?”

“What else? Dreaming. Cats don’t have a care in the world. Meanwhile, we care too much.”

At the Burger King the next morning, they met the president and Father Santos Santos Ramos. The president was as old as his father but had glasses instead of an unshaven face and smelled like Old Spice rather than cherry-flavored Robitussin. Father Santos Santos Ramos looked like he had been preaching for two-hundred years. When they sat down together, everyone had coffee except for Edmar and Capilla, who respectively had a bottle of orange juice and a milk in a dish Roanna had brought in with them.

The president was as old as his father but had glasses instead of an unshaven face and smelled like Old Spice rather than cherry-flavored Robitussin. Father Santos Santos Ramos looked like he had been preaching for two-hundred years.

“You sure you don’t want anything to eat?” The president asked.

“I want all the money to go to Capilla,” Edmar said, holding her. She eyed the table, a beam of light that protruded from the advertisements for Whoppers in their window.

“I’m sorry I can’t do any more,” The president said, picking out a hundred-dollar bill and holding it across the table.

Before anyone else could grab it, Father Santos Santos Ramos snatched it away. “My Child, I know what you want to do. You want to stop Capilla from going back home and stay here in the states, correct?”

“How do you know that?”

“I pray, my child, and God tells me things. He tells me when someone is in need. He tells me when someone is suffering. But I also listen, my child. And I am here every day. The president told me about the situation when he came in this morning. Kumakain ako ng almusal.”

“Will you do it then?”

“My child, marriage is something sacred. Marriage is a call to give oneself to one’s spouse. Marriage is a gift to create the gift of life. If Capilla is marrying just for a green card, I do not feel, paano mo sasabihin, uh, ‘good’ about it.”

Roanna looked at the president and the president looked at Father Santos Santos Ramos. Capilla yawned and pawed at her dish.

“Capilla is not marrying for a green card, she is marrying to stay. My parents told me marrying is not about love, it’s so someone can stop coming and going. Isn’t that right? Isn’t that good?”

Father Santos Santos Ramos looked at the president and the president looked at Roanna. Capilla squeezed out of Edmar’s arm and onto the table. She started lapping at her dish, the milk splashing everywhere.

Father Santos Santos Ramos handed the hundred dollars over. “I will do it tomorrow morning for free. Just make sure you find another cat who can provide a good home for Capilla.”

Roanna stood up and manoed the priest’s withered hands, crushing the hundred dollars in his fist over Capilla making a mess of things. “Salamat po, Pare.”

“All in the name of the lord, my children. Just give me your number and address, and I will drive by after breakfast. Maybe after ten, when they stop giving the free refills on the coffee.”

“Thank you, Father Santos Santos Ramos. Thank you, Mr. President.”

The president reached across and pet Capilla, who did not stop eating but rose her back to meet his touch. “No need for thanks, Edmar. This is what we do for our own.”

In his mother’s car Roanna and him had borrowed for the day, Edmar looked at the hundred dollar bill. It did not feel like much to him and surely not how he imagined a fraction would be. However, Roanna assured him, it was more than enough.

“Now, all we need is a good cat.” Roanna said, tapping the wheel.

Capilla meowed in her carrier. She did not like being confined to small places.

“How about Lola Gila’s cat, Chester? She’s just around the corner in the old folk’s home.”

“Will Lola Gila be happy with another cat?”

“I think so. She always says she is lonely. I’ll give her a call.”

After a few rings, Lola Gila picked up and smacked her lips. “Ah, Hello? Apo? Anong gusto mo, sweetheart?”

“Lola, do you think Chester would like to get married?”

“Ano? Married? Why?”

Edmar and Roanna explained the situation while Capilla meowed herself to sleep.

Lola Gila laughed. “I don’t think he would mind, but he’s old. I’m afraid he won’t be entertaining anyone for longer.”

“Lola, I’m sure he will enjoy her company. She is a good cat and very easy to please.”

“Well, come over and let them meet. Let’s see if they get along.”

At the convalescent home, they found Lola Gila and Chester in the rec room, looking out of the window at the birds far up in the trees outside. Lola Gila sat in her wheelchair while Chester rested on a blanket on her lap. The two of them turned to Roana, Edmar, and Capilla in her carrier when they called out.

Roana and Edmar both manoed her hand, while the two cats looked at each other in silence.

“Well, they’re not hissing.” Lola Gila said. “That’s a good sign.”

Chester, an orange round cat, stood up and slipped down, sniffing around the carrier.

Lola Gila looked down at him. “Take Capilla out.”

Roana looked at Chester eying her bag. “Lola, are you sure?”

“Well, the wedding is tomorrow. Either it works out now or tapos na.”

Roana put down the carrier and let Capilla out. The two cats walked around each other, each other’s sides brushing, before walking out of the room together and around the corner.

“Where are they going?” Edmar said, worried they would fight.

“To talk. Marriage is a big deal, even for cats,” Lola Gila said, “There’s a lot to talk about.”

“Lola, how did you and Lolo get married?”

“I don’t remember,” She laughed, “We were always together. Too much happened afterwards to think of anything before as important.”

She looked up at Roana like she had looked up at the birds earlier. “Binibini, you find a good man?”

Roana looked down at her and chirped, “We’ll see, Lola.”

“Jeff doesn’t like cats,” Edmar said, and a single tear fell from the corner of Roana’s eye. Edmar saw it, even when she tried to sweep it up with a finger before he could notice.

“Jeff doesn’t like cats,” Edmar said, and a single tear fell from the corner of Roana’s eye. Edmar saw it, even when she tried to sweep it up with a finger before he could notice.

Lola Gila rubbed her back. “Sometimes, love is sacrifice, mahal.”

“That’s why we have to get Capilla married too,” Edmar said, “So she isn’t a third wheel.”

Roana chuckled. Lola Gila looked down at Edmar. “Ano ang ‘third wheel’?”

Edmar latched onto his Lola’s arm. She smelled like fresh detergent and the street after it rains. “It’s when you’re alone and the other people you’re with are together.”

“I understand what that feels like, Apo, but why is it called a third wheel?”

“I don’t know, Lola, but if you ever feel that way, we can get you married next.”

Lola Gila pulled in her grandson and sniffed his face. “You are too sweet, but once is enough for me.”

When the cats came back, Chester returned to Lola Gila’s lap and Capilla to her carrier.

Lola Gila pet Chester, who was already dozing off. “I guess they finished talking.”

Edmar crouched down and looked at Capilla who just stared at him. “You think they came to an agreement?”
“I think so. The rest is up to us. Ask your mother for the family veil and yugal to use tomorrow. Are you using it, Roana?”

Roana shook her head. “I didn’t think to ask.”

“You should use it too. I’m sure it will make your Tita happy someone other than a cat is asking for it.”

“Thank you, Lola. I will. We will pick you up tomorrow then.”

“Yes, tomorrow.” Lola Gila said and they manoed goodbye.

At home, Edmar’s mother was happy to hear that Roana wanted to use the family veil and yugal but was not happy about Capilla and Chester using it.

“Aye, Roanna, they will ruin them!” She said, nearly spilling her Diet Coke at the dinner table.

Edmar’s father couldn’t stop laughing. Rice and bongus dribbled down his mouth.

Roanna stirred the rice and tomato and salted shrimp paste on her plate with her hand. “No they won’t. They’ll be really careful with them.”

“Aye, They’re cats. Just get a leash and any regular veil. They won’t know the difference.”

“It won’t be the same, Tita. Edmar worked so hard to make this special. They have Lola’s blessing.”

“Aye, Gago. Lola’s gone senile already. Sige na, but if they ruin that veil, you’ll be sorry.”

“Thank you, tita!” Roanna said and hugged Edmar’s mother, staining her house dress.

Edmar’s father continued to laugh. Edmar had never seen him so happy.

The next day, everyone was there. Father Santos Santos Ramos, Roana, and Capilla in her arms stood at the top of the steps leading to their front porch while the procession made their way up the walkway. Edmar’s father and the president of the Paniqui Association helped Lola Gila walk while his mother carried Chester forward. They stopped before the steps and sat down in metal fold-out chairs as Edmar’s mother brought Chester up. Roana and Edmar’s mother stood before Father Santos Santos Ramos with each cat in their arms. Before the marriage ceremony began, Edmar put the Yugal around both cat’s and the wedding veil over Capilla. Surprisingly, they behaved all the way through the prayer and Father Santos Santos Ramos’s rambling about unity and bonds. Instead of ‘I do’s, the cat’s shared looks of indifference, and they were proclaimed husband and wife. Everyone cheered, Edmar’s father cried, and Capilla and Chester lived happily ever after, as far as everyone who were not cats could understand.