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Comments Made to a Mother of Girls

June 2, 2022/ Lilly Roan

Four girls in five years, wow, did you plan that? Do they all have the same father? Are you going to try for a boy? Have you figured out where babies come from? You’re a fertile myrtle.  Do you not believe in birth control? You obviously don’t like condoms. Kids are a blessing. Kids are the ultimate STD. Are you Mormon? Did you consider abortion? How does your husband feel about you having so many kids? Did you get pregnant so he’d marry you?  Are they all yours? How much do you spend a week on groceries? Are you on food stamps?  That’s a lot of weddings to pay for. At least girls don’t have to go to college. Your poor husband. He’s so outnumbered. I hope your husband owns a shotgun. Do you still have sex? Do you even feel anything down there? You should probably just stop having sex. Wow, you’re huge. Are you having twins? Wow, you look great for having kids. When I was pregnant, women hid their bellies. Pregnant bellies are gross. You’re glowing. Can I touch your belly? This is weird, and I promise I’m normal, but are you single? I can’t believe you’re wearing a bikini. At least since your babies were premature you didn’t get as many stretch marks. Do you regret not having a boy? You could adopt. You shouldn’t adopt, you have too many already. What about the babies that need homes? The kids in foster care? You could do more. You’ve done enough. Don’t you realize the world is overpopulated? People aren’t having enough kids. Children are the future. Too bad the planet will be destroyed before they get to grow up. You’ll never survive the apocalypse with all that baggage. What do you do all day, eat candy and sit on Facebook? When are you getting a real job? Why bother going back to school if you’re just going to stay home? You’re such a good example for your girls. You’re selfish to work  You’re selfish to go to grad school. Isn’t a bachelor’s degree enough? What are you trying to prove? I feel bad for your husband having to support you sitting around all day. You need more hobbies. I didn’t know moms had time to play video games. Don’t you know how to dust? Your writing is taking time away from your kids. You shouldn’t give up your dreams. Don’t get too busy, that’s when men cheat. You’re lucky you get to stay home. I couldn’t stand staying home. Wait, where are the kids? What do you mean the dog is babysitting? You can’t crate train children. How can you say your dog is your favorite child? How can you make a joke like that? Do you hate being a mother? Can your husband handle watching them? You’re so lucky your husband babysits. If you were my wife, I would never let you wear a dress that short. Why don’t you try harder to be pretty? You don’t need to wear makeup, who are you trying to impress? Motherhood is what women are made for. Being a breeder is just supporting the patriarchy. It doesn’t get better than this. It’s all downhill from here. You just reminded me to take my birth control. You’re making me miss when my grown children were little. You should get out more. You should prioritize your kids more. You’re doing a great job. What do you mean your kids don’t know Spanish? You used to be fun. Nah, you were never cool. You’re too young to have kids that age. You’re too old to have more kids. I would be crying if I were you. Why are you depressed? Your life is amazing. Your life is a mess. How do you do it all? What exactly are you even busy doing all day? Don’t you want more than this? What more could you want? You’ve hit your peak. What will you have left when they leave? These are the best days of your life. Just slow down. You’re going to miss this.

Headshot photo of writer Lilly Roan

Lilly Roan writes from Jonesborough, TN where she lives with her husband, four children, and many animals including her service dog, Ghost. She has recently been published at JMWW, Little Patuxent Review, and Dream of Shadows. She is an MFA in Writing candidate at the Vermont College of Fine Art. To read more of her writing, check out her website at LillyRoan.com and follow her Instagram account @TheRoanWriter.

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Friday Lunch Blog

Friday Lunch! A serving of contemporary essays published the second Friday of every month.

Today’s course:

How to Kill a Cat, or How to Prepare for CATastrophe

March 10, 2023/in Blog / Meghan McGuire
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/51458407-FB7D-4C1F-AD98-9E3181F097C9.jpg 2288 2288 Meghan McGuire https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Meghan McGuire2023-03-10 11:55:512023-03-08 12:08:20How to Kill a Cat, or How to Prepare for CATastrophe

The Night I Want to Remember

December 16, 2022/in 2023ws-migration, Blog / Sanaz Tamjidi
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From Paper to the Page

November 18, 2022/in 2023ws-migration, Blog / Annie Bartos
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Midnight Snack

Take a bite out of these late night obsessions.

Tonight’s bites:

Point Break & Top Gun Are More Than Homoerotic Action Movies

March 3, 2023/in Midnight Snack / Michaela Emerson
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/ECD45731-BD0A-4144-9DDE-DBE45519C4A6.jpeg 2461 1882 Michaela Emerson https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Michaela Emerson2023-03-03 23:45:542023-03-04 00:06:21Point Break & Top Gun Are More Than Homoerotic Action Movies

Mending the Heart and Slowing Down: Reintroducing Myself to Mexican Cooking

October 7, 2022/in Midnight Snack / Megan Vasquez
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/jason-briscoe-VBsG1VOgLIU-unsplash-scaled.jpg 1707 2560 Megan Vasquez https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Megan Vasquez2022-10-07 23:55:352022-10-07 19:31:09Mending the Heart and Slowing Down: Reintroducing Myself to Mexican Cooking

The Worth of a Billionaire’s Words

September 23, 2022/in Midnight Snack / Kirby Chen Mages
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Amuse-Bouche

Little bites every third Friday to whet your appetite!

Today’s plate:

On Such a Full Sea Are We Now

March 17, 2023/in Amuse-Bouche / Jemma Leigh Roe
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/JLR.jpeg 1204 1042 Jemma Leigh Roe https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Jemma Leigh Roe2023-03-17 11:55:192023-03-20 12:27:25On Such a Full Sea Are We Now

The Russian Train

February 24, 2023/in Amuse-Bouche / Cammy Thomas
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/06BA84B9-9FF6-4D6C-97E3-9F02075E851D.jpeg 2042 1609 Cammy Thomas https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Cammy Thomas2023-02-24 14:30:592023-02-24 11:40:48The Russian Train

Still Life

October 31, 2022/in Amuse-Bouche / Daniel J. Rortvedt
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/827C31B5-92AE-4C32-9137-3B4AED885093-scaled.jpeg 2560 1920 Daniel J. Rortvedt https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Daniel J. Rortvedt2022-10-31 11:59:312022-10-30 21:59:49Still Life

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School Lunch

An occasional Wednesday series dishing up today’s best youth writers.

Today’s slice:

I’ve Stayed in the Front Yard

May 12, 2021/in School Lunch, School Lunch 2021 / Brendan Nurczyk
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/SL-Insta-Brendan-Nurczyk-2.png 1500 1500 Brendan Nurczyk https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Brendan Nurczyk2021-05-12 10:18:392022-02-01 13:24:05I’ve Stayed in the Front Yard

A Communal Announcement

April 28, 2021/in School Lunch, School Lunch 2021 / Isabella Dail
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/SL-FB-Isabella-Dail.png 788 940 Isabella Dail https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Isabella Dail2021-04-28 11:34:132021-04-28 11:34:13A Communal Announcement

Seventeen

April 14, 2021/in School Lunch, School Lunch 2021 / Abigail E. Calimaran
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https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/SL-Insta-Abigail-E.-Calimaran.png 1080 1080 Abigail E. Calimaran https://lunchticket.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/lunch-ticket-logo-white-text-only.png Abigail E. Calimaran2021-04-14 11:22:062021-04-14 11:22:06Seventeen

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Word From the Editor

Our contributors are diverse and the topics they share through their art vary, but their work embodies this mission. They explore climate change, family, relationships, poverty, immigration, human rights, gun control, among others topics. Some of these works represent the mission by showing pain or hardship, other times humor or shock, but they all carry in them a vision for a brighter world.

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