Tonight, We Drive Out of Town
Tonight, we drive out of town. Dear,
your face is unfamiliar, so are your fingers,
your thighs, your calves. This body
evokes my curiosity. But in living bodies,
I’m no longer interested, they are more or less the same.
Fat legs, or fit legs,
I care for neither. Instead I’m curious of their
floaty confidence, hesitant, swaying poises
in the wind; and dresses, half transparent,
rose-colored, I want to say I’m in love with them,
as a fanatic, I’m devoted to dust.
In dust there is quiet objection, along
the tip of my tongue, crushing one by one
the tenderness streaming in blood.
Dear, please forgive me,
even out of town you and I cannot fall in love.
When you die, my love will become sweet.
今夜，我们驱车城外
今夜，我们驱车城外。亲爱的，
你的脸是陌生的，还有你的手指，
你的大腿，还有小腿。这身体
勾引我的好奇。但我对活的身体
已经没有兴趣了，它们大同小异。
对于肥腻的腿，或健壮的腿，
我统统没有兴趣。我好奇于它们
轻飘飘的自信，在风里犹疑、
晃动的姿态，还有裙子，半透明
玫瑰色，我想说我爱上了它们，
作为一个膜拜狂，我着迷于尘土。
在尘土里有安静的反对，顺着
我的舌尖，把血液里涌动的温情
一一粉碎。亲爱的，请原谅我，
即使来到城外我和你也没法相爱。
当你死去，我的爱会变得甜美。
Translator’s Statement
I first discovered Ma Yan’s poems on a Chinese literature and films forum. What drew me in was her specific, bold description of desire, despair, and death, addressed often to a particular friend or lover. However, as the poems indicate, they move town or pass away one after another, unlikely to reunite. In Tonight, We Drive Out of Town, the speaker declares she is no longer interested in “living bodies”, but rather “poises in the wind” and dust that crushes tenderness. Only the forms of body after death, that can no longer mutate or be further gone. I hope to tap into Ma’s rhythm and choreography, and recreate the color and taste of “love after death” in another language.
Ma Yan was born in Chengdu, China in 1979. A prolific writer and active member of the Beijing literary scene, she self published two poetry collections and helped organize literary events including the Weiming Poetry Festival. She passed away in 2010. Posthumously the Ma Yan Poetry Collection, the Ma Yan Essay Collection, and Reading and Self Joy at Large have been published.
Winnie Zeng writes and translates from Zhejiang, China. Her translation of Ma Yan’s poem has been nominated for Deep Vellum’s Best Literary Translations anthology. Other poetry and translation can be found in Poetry Northwest, The Offing, Black Warrior Review, Hayden’s Ferry Review, and elsewhere.
